If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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