at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
