Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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(631): View more from New York

being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.

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(323): View more from California

Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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(224): View more from Illinois

My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.

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