Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
