I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
