At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
