i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
