I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
