I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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