She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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