Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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