I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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