Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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