His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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