Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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