What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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