Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
