spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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