So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
