the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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