So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
