I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
