We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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