i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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