I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
