how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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