kristin has been a bad kristin
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize