were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize