just come out here and I will go home with you...
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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