im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
