were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
