Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
