Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize