Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
