R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done