well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated