Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
