My first STD was from a foam party
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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