Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize