Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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