can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
