i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think my vagina is haunted
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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