Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
