I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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