Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
