that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize