Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
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Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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