So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize