The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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