Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Small penises have feelings too.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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