I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
