i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
