Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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