I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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