Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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