You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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