Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
