i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
