Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
