he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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