If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You left your phone here
Wait...
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