I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
