But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
