Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
