I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
